As I promised, I am going to share with you our thought process about this.
My strategy when I have to make a big decision that I am conflicted about is to create 4 lists. In this case:
1. Pros of renovating.
2. Cons of renovating.
3. Pros of not renovating.
4. Cons of not renovating.
You might think that section 1 would be essentially the opposite of section 2, but it doesn't quite work out that way. (By the way, this is a therapy tool.)
Alright, here we go!
1. The pros of renovating: I would be able to utilize the space better, I would be more efficient. I would have a stove that can boil water more efficiently- the current electric stove clicks on and off and it takes about 10 minutes to boil water. It would be pleasing to my eyes, and my guests will have a better place to sit when I am making a meal, and finally, if we ever sell the house, an open kitchen is highly desirable.
2. The cons of renovating: I will probably be overwhelmed, we will have to eat out of take out containers in the garage for at least 8 weeks. It will be expensive, the food and the renovation, that is. We can use the money to do something else, like vacations, or saving that for retirement. Also, what if we move in the next few years, who knows if we would be moving to Manhattan?!
3. The pros of not renovating: I know how this kitchen works. It is predictable, I have managed to feed everyone for the last 4 years, it is just fine.
4. The cons of not renovating: It may be more difficult to sell this house when the time times. I will probably be dreaming of moving somewhere all the time. We have less stress.
The thing is, the cons of not renovating is mostly about my heart issues, issues of discontentment. As I have slugged through them in the last two years, I can't say I have gotten more content. But I can say that I think the desire to make my life more efficient is winning out. And I figured that the cons of renovating will be an opportunity for me wrestle through some other issues of my heart, such as irritability and anxiety.
Alright. I will be the first to admit that this is a purely a first world problem.
In slugging through this first world problem though, my relationship with Hubby has grown. I have come to know Hubby's priorities better, I have come to see that he loves me in ways I don't love myself. For instance, he prioritizes my sanity above basically everything. I married a good one!
I can't say enough that I am so spoiled. Spoiled to live where I do, to have a very nice kitchen, to have the ability to get my dream kitchen, AND, to grow in my relationship with Hubby and God at the same time.